Welcome to this special FAQ edition of “Voices of Introspection.” In my conversation with Navixha, we explored the profound journey from self-consciousness to self-awareness—a transformation many of us struggle to navigate. As a TEDx speaker, leadership coach, and the founder of OYL coaching, Navixha brings 25 years of wisdom to our discussion about finding comfort in our own skin and embracing our authentic selves. What struck me most was her candor about the internal battles we fight and how liberation comes from within. Whether you’re questioning your purpose, feeling trapped by others’ judgments, or simply seeking growth in your personal or professional life, this conversation offers practical insights for your journey. I’ve distilled our rich dialogue into this FAQ format to help you revisit the wisdom whenever you need it most.
What have you learned about yourself recently that truly surprised you?
I have a lot more impatience than I ever thought I was capable of. I’m impatient, but I choose to believe it’s all for the right things and reasons. I’m mostly impatient with myself. I have good tenacity and endurance levels when waiting for results to turn around. When I’m in that awaiting mode where my contribution is done and it’s just a waiting game, I’m okay because I have plenty of other things to focus on. But when I feel like I’m not expediting something fast enough or my contribution isn’t where I expect it to be, that just blows me off my mental wheels.
Was there a pivotal moment in your early years when you knew change had to happen?
If I could go back in time and reset on something, it would be finding comfort in my own skin much earlier. What I perceived as being a complex or feeling awkward was, in reality, me not standing tall and proud with my differences and individuality. I was always introverted, which I tried to justify to myself—that I wasn’t as vibrant or outgoing as others, so I shouldn’t even try. What I could have done instead was own my quiet strength, my ability to introspect, and my thoughtfulness in self-awareness. As an extremely young person, I was always hyper self-aware but mistook it for self-consciousness. I wish I’d recognized that distinction much earlier.
How would you define the difference between self-consciousness and self-awareness?
Being self-aware means being okay with not following the crowd mentality—being comfortable with having different preferences. For example, if everyone is gravitating toward a certain phenomenon, popular music, or artist, but you prefer knitting, sewing, research, or building a prototype instead of more mainstream activities, that’s completely okay. As long as you let your inner creativity flow and you’re making the most productive use of your time, enjoying it, and it resonates with you—as long as it’s not illegal, immoral, unkind, or self-detrimental—it’s all good. In essence, it’s about being okay with being you. It’s okay to be different and not mainstream.
Having the gumption and guts to admit and acknowledge to myself that I wanted to actively share and be a thought leader was challenging. We’re always conditioned by external forces, and unknowingly, we internalize those standards—that it’s not your place to take center stage, to be in the spotlight. “Don’t be an attention seeker. Don’t be bossy. You’re not an authority or expert.” That voice within me was too strong and active.
We are our own worst critics and our own most dominant limitation. So having a dialogue with this persona and asking “why not?” was crucial. If I feel there’s something worthwhile to share, why shouldn’t I express myself or get in the spotlight if needed? Coming to terms with the fact that it was okay to take center stage, to put myself out there, and that this didn’t make me an attention seeker or an impostor, was a major challenge.
The judgment and criticism often come from those closest to you in your vicinity or circles, not random outsiders. Recognizing that terror, dealing with it, and normalizing it was an uphill challenge that took me years to overcome. Now I consider myself a veteran—the war wounds may be there, some healed and some still healing, but I’m removed from the baggage. I finally found my freedom; it’s been a long time coming.
If someone judges you and they’re significant in your life, address it directly with them. If they’re just being pesky and trying to throw their weight around, define your boundaries. You may not need a heart-to-heart conversation if they’re not relevant in your life. But if it’s someone in a significant position—like a superior at work or an elderly relative—have an open-minded conversation. If it’s just someone in passing being mean or nasty, define that boundary, be a “cutter-offer” if needed, and move on.
I finished school and started working as a marketing and customer rep for a major Fortune 500 company in India. It was great—a fantastic starting job right out of college. I enjoyed getting dressed and going to work every day, being in that people energy and exploring myself. Yet, I felt a void or something different—a higher purpose. At the time, I misunderstood it to be maybe another person or something extremely grand and shiny outside myself.
I stumbled into a self-development practice with an extremely large non-profit. I went in with a big ego, thinking I knew almost everything, but I wasn’t living those principles in my life—open conversation, humility, willingness to learn, practicing patience with others. It was humbling because each point made hit the spot in me and incrementally shattered the ego I’d built. It made me more real, organic, down-to-earth, and a more pleasant person.
Encouraged by my teachers and mentors, I became a certified facilitator within a year. While pursuing my corporate career, I was also teaching these workshops. I even took breaks—much to my parents’ consternation—and spent months traveling to Northeast India, staying at army bases and facilitating programs for the Indian Army across all levels of seniority.
Later, I came to the US for work, met my husband, and reveled in my corporate journey. While still working, I completed my master’s degree online in less than three years with an infant at home. About seven years ago, I naturally gravitated toward sharing life nuggets, relationship insights, and personal lessons on social media—not looking to be an influencer, just sharing stories. When my online presence took off, I was shocked by the following it generated.
A year and a half ago, I made the conscious decision to pursue my most innate passion full-time: working with people, reflecting on life, learning, and mentoring others by sharing from my journey, research, and perspectives.
Growth isn’t something flashy or synonymous with success or “feathers in your cap.” What we mistakenly assume to be the pinnacle is actually just another milestone in the journey. Being successful in your career, raising kids, providing for them—that’s not the endpoint. Life doesn’t end there; it’s just another level of progress on your journey as a person.
From an extremely successful position, the next higher level of growth is actively giving back. We introduce our kids to new activities, interests, and talents for them to grow, be interesting, and multi-faceted. Why not apply that to ourselves? Why assume this is the most interesting or talented we could ever be? Why box yourself and cap your abilities?
You will not stagnate for long—you’ll either begin to regress and become a weaker version of yourself, or you’ll grow. Growth never comes easy; learning isn’t comfortable. It takes you out of your comfort zone but makes you so much richer and lighter.
Growth is simply becoming a better version of who you were. It’s not about comparing yourself to others but looking at how far you’ve come in your own inner journey, how much you’ve blossomed.
The most fulfilling growth stems from self-awareness. Self-growth is the highest level of growth. Yes, you can pursue talents, go back to older interests you never actively worked on, develop new interests, take lessons, join support groups, or participate in activities.
But finding that connection with yourself—understanding your gaps, shortcomings, and trigger points, developing patience with yourself, having deeper context and understanding of your own self—that’s true growth. The beauty is that it doesn’t stop with you; it naturally extends to your interpersonal relationships. You become more empathetic, less judgmental, more patient.
To grow, you don’t necessarily need to look outside. Looking inside, taking stock of what’s happening there, organizing and cleansing it—that helps immensely on this journey of growth.
When people judge you, remember that any flippant, temporary opinion is just that—fleeting, whether positive or negative. Our human tendency is to take positives in stride (or sometimes discount them due to self-consciousness), but we internalize the slightest criticism and make it symbolic of who we are. Yet, it was just a transitory thought in the other person’s mind. Thirty seconds later, they’ve moved on, while you’re stuck with that negative self-belief.
Ask yourself: how much time do they spend thinking about their opinion of you once they’ve moved on? Probably none. Any opinion, somebody’s opinion, is just that—you are not bound to it. You are not fettered by it. There is no dictum or indoctrination. You’re not enslaved. Throw those shackles off and shed that weight—that’s the first area of self-growth.
Like a vacuum cleaner filled with dust, or a closet overflowing with clothes, your mindset needs clearing out—removing unnecessary baggage, patterns, or tendencies imbibed from your surroundings. The first act of cleanup is clearing out the unnecessary and making space for growth.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the featured leaders and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Nexus Diaries. While we strive to present authentic and diverse perspectives, the narratives shared are personal experiences and may not apply universally. Readers are encouraged to use their own judgment and seek additional guidance where needed.
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